Curiosity killed the cat - and little dogs too
by Soccus
Summary: Earth had an unexpected effect on the Seekers' animal-love. This causes much drama with the Decepticons. G1 Crackfic. Sequel to "Here kitty, kitty"


AN: This is the sequel to "Here kitty, kitty". Thank you everyone who reviewed that, by my standards it became ridiculously popular. Here are the replies to the anons:

To: 44YAH

Thank you for the review. If you decide to review again could you please not write in all caps? I find it hard to read. Otherwise I must say that not only is Ratbat's age fanon, but the idea that Seekers themselves have so-called "sparkling protocols" is also a fanon idea. The "sparkling protocols" idea will not be appearing in this series as I find that would really kill off any dignity the Seekers have retained.

To: Anonymous BW FG

I'm glad you liked it. I do the fangirl gush thing myself sometimes when a fic is especially cutesy.

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Warnings for: mentions of animal deaths, albeit unintentional. Includes Puppies and Kittens and Tigers.

This is set during the G1 series and contains my take on how one of the cassettes got constructed. Or more like _why._

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Upon awakening on earth, none of the Decepticons had known anything about its abundance in flora and fauna.

In the case of the Seekers this had been a Very Good Thing. Once the Seekers _had _discovered earth's abundant Fauna much trouble had ensued for the rest of the faction. It was usually Soundwave's job to sort it out as well, much to his irritation.

At the moment "sort it out" included comforting a sobbing Seeker. As usual it hadn't been Soundwave himself who had gone; instead he'd sent Laserbeak, whom the Seekers were inordinately fond of, for him to cuddle with and pamper. They certainly wouldn't pamper Soundwave that way if he turned up.

The hysterical Seeker was Skywarp, who'd tried to warp into the base with a Tiger in his arms.

The tiger hadn't taken to warping well. In fact, no organic creatures took to warping well as Skywarp had well known by that time. In his excitement though, he'd forgotten that little fact and he'd turned up on the bridge with one dead tiger. Cue a very upset Seeker.

On the other hand the situation wasn't quite as bad as the time Rumble had stepped on a box full of puppies and the entire Seeker contingent had been inconsolable for _days_.

It had taken much petting and pampering of his two beastform cassettes to console them.

On Cybertron, they'd never had this problem. Then again on Cybertron they'd never had such an abundance of beast-formed creatures. Transformers had been the dominant species, period.

At least the Seekers didn't see humans, who despite being "sentient" (this was still a cause of debate amongst some Decepticons and, from what Laserbeak had overheard, some Autobots) were classed as animals, as things to be cuddled and taken care of. That might have put some kinks in the "destroy and/or enslave humanity" plans. As for destroying the earth itself to harvest energy, the Seekers could manage it quite easily if they thought of it as "gather energy, revive home" and not as killing all the cute critters that existed on the planet. Some days they managed it quite admirably. On other days… not so much. Well why else did Starscream act out so much? At least the Autobots only had to deal with "Screamer's" fits of rage, rather than those of absolute hysteria.

No, it was _Soundwave _and his cassettes who had the terrible luck to have to deal with that.

At least the lead trine seemed to like relatively small creatures. The Coneheads had a terrible fascination for _marine_ life and, well, some creatures of the sea were rather big. And they stank terribly when they died. There were still many more bribes and favours to go before the Constructicons would let themselves be coerced into making a whale-sized containment zone for the Coneheads. That was if Megatron ever allowed it to be built.

How could he not though? When faced with a crying Seeker things suddenly seemed very hard to say no to. It was only sheer dumb luck that Starscream had too much pride to ask, whilst crying, for the Decepticon throne. Soundwave wasn't sure that Megatron would be able to say no.

Perhaps he should become one of the poor sparks who tried to get the Constructicons to tell him how _they_ managed to say no.

At least his poor, overworked cassettes would be getting a little bit of help now. Soundwave was building another beastform cassette, just so that Ravage or Laserbeak could go out and _spy,_ as in actually do their job,sometime.

He wondered how the Seekers would react to Buzzsaw. The soon-to-be yellow cassette would be near-on identical to Laserbeak, which would hopefully make him fairly popular with the Seekers. They did seem to favour those who were flight capable after all.

Just then a report came from Frenzy, saying that Ramjet had brought yet _another _marine animal into the base. Soundwave now finally arranged the punishment duty he hadn't yet decided for Wildrider and Drag Strip for racing in the halls; cleaning up the very-soon-to-die whale. The best thing was that the longer they delayed in it, the worse it would get as the whale started to rot.

Anyway it was time to comfort a Seeker now.

Not that he'd be doing it himself; that's what Soundwave had cassettes for.

As he relayed their punishment to the Stunticons he called Ravage back from the mission the cassette had only just been sent on. He'd have to reschedule that until whenever the cassette next had a free slot then, which hopefully wouldn't be taken up again by Seeker-related emergencies.

Soundwave could dream of that day at least.

* * *

Soundwave was mere hours away from completing his most recent project, the construction of the casseticon "Buzzsaw", when Megatron's alert call came.

Immediately the cassette-carrier dropped his tools and strode out of his quarters towards the bridge; an alert from Megatron could only be of the highest importance. Maybe there had been a rapid development in their plans to conquer earth or there had been an information leak in their system. Why else would Megatron call for his Communications Officer?

When Soundwave strode into the bridge and spotted three hysterical Seekers, Starscream and Skywarp sobbing into Megatron's arms while Thundercracker cradled a cardboard box, that question was abruptly answered. Why else would Megatron call for him? To comfort bawling Seekers of course.

Before he could decide which cassette (or cassettes if this was really as serious as Megatron seemed to think) to bring out, he had to see how bad the situation was. He walked towards Thundercracker and looked into the small box the Seeker held cradled like a lover.

Kittens. Dead kittens.

Frag. He'd have to complete Buzzsaw ASAP then. All three beastform cassettes would have to be in action.

As Soundwave let his deck open and issued the relevant commands he couldn't help but wish they could go back to Cybertron, if only to get away from cute and cuddly animals before they destroyed the Decepticons from the inside out.

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AN: Yes I killed off Kittens and Puppies, one Tiger, and a whale shark. Yes I made Decepticons cry. Crackfic anyone?

There are still two other oneshots to follow in the series so watch out for those! The next one will finally feature the Autobots.

Reviews are loved and cuddled!

Eli


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